


Technobiosis

by Veldeia



Series: Bioses [3]
Category: Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Arc Reactor Failure, Gen, Hurt Tony Stark, Medical Procedures, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-01-11
Updated: 2009-01-11
Packaged: 2018-03-30 22:59:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3955135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veldeia/pseuds/Veldeia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An assassination attempt leaves Tony with a broken heart - in the most literal sense. Is this the end of Iron Man?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Technobiosis

**Author's Note:**

> Lots of medical content, some of which I wouldn't recommend to the most squeamish, and all of which is entirely based on obsessive online research - I've got nothing to do with the medical field. Also, there's no "back to status quo by the end of the fic" guarantee here. Permanent things happen, so you could say that this goes AU. This is unbeta'd, too. And I'm ESL. And smoking is bad for your health. Don't say you haven't been warned.

**techno-**

Technology, especially its impact or implications.  
[Greek tekhnē, art, craft.]

**-biosis**

A mode of life.  
[Greek biōsis, mode of life.]

-http://www.affixes.org/  


* * *

  
  
Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Gah. How was he supposed to sleep? The heart monitor was driving him nuts. Not that he hadn't listened to that sound often enough before this, but the sound was such a huge cliche that it almost made him expect he was about to flatline any second.

Tony sat up and turned the volume down. There. Better.

Rhodey was already snoring in the bed next to his, but Tony had too much on his mind. They were both in the hospital due to an explosion at Stark Industries two days ago. Tony was convinced it had been sabotage. He was still waiting for any news from his people who were investigating it, but that didn't keep him from speculating. Who would've wanted to blow up his assembly plant? What were they after, when they hadn't even contacted him or left any kind of a note?

He lay in his bed, eyes closed but all awake, for what felt like at least an hour.

Just when he had finally drifted to a light sleep, footsteps entering the room dragged him to wakefulness again. Most likely it was a night nurse, coming to check on them.

The steps didn't stop at Rhodey's bed, which was closer to the door, but continued straight to Tony's. To his disappointment, it wasn't a pretty girl, but a man, one that he hadn't seen before. Ash-colored hair, medium height, medium build, about Tony's age - definitely not a very interesting-looking person. He turned on the bedside lamp, and closed the privacy curtains around Tony's bed.

"Hey, you're new," Tony greeted him, to let him know that he was awake.

"Well, not exactly," the man - definitely a nurse, not a doctor, since he wasn't wearing a lab coat but scrubs - answered casually. "I've been around a few years. I'm Dan. Pleased to meet you, Mr. Stark." As he spoke, he produced a syringe from his pocket and injected the contents into Tony's IV.

"What was that for?" Tony asked.

"Just some antibiotics. There may be some passing side-effects, but that's nothing you need to worry about," Dan said, and glanced at his wristwatch.

Something about the situation struck Tony as slightly odd, but maybe he was just being paranoid, thanks to spending the last hour or so thinking about explosions and sabotage. Then again, maybe he wasn't. He was starting to feel a weird tingling in his limbs, something that he was prepared to bet wasn't a "side-effect of antibiotics".

Tony opened his mouth to protest, but Dan placed a hand over it before he got a word out. 

"Everything's looking all right, I'm sure you'll be good as new in no time. Maybe they'll even discharge you tomorrow," Dan said, his voice cheerful and loud enough to cover Tony's attempts to mumble something past the palm covering half his face.

Tony knew Rhodey was sleeping right next to him, and Happy was standing guard outside the door. All he had to do was make enough noise to catch their attention - but he didn't seem to be getting there. As he tried to struggle against the unexpected assault, he realized he couldn't move his hands or feet anymore. His frantic attempts lead to nothing but a few weak twitches. The feeling was horribly familiar. He could almost see Obadiah Stane standing over him, holding the arc reactor...

Dan took his hand off Tony's mouth, but Tony couldn't make a sound anymore.

"There's just one more thing I need to do before I leave you alone," Dan said, his tone unchanged. He leaned closer, lifted aside the sheets, and opened Tony's hospital gown to reveal his chest. He took a moment to study the arc reactor, looking at it so closely that his face almost touched it, tracking its edges with long, thin fingers. Then, he grabbed the rim and twisted. He picked the wrong direction first, clearly trying to figure out how the mechanism worked. Of course, the next thing he tried was the right direction. He pulled the device out with a soft click, and unplugged it.

This time, Tony couldn't even gasp. Instead, he felt his breathing grow weaker and slower despite the overwhelming panic filling his mind. His heart was pounding madly beneath the empty socket in his chest, but he'd been helpful enough to mute the EKG monitor himself, so there was no way anyone would hear anything out of the ordinary.

"That wasn't too bad, now, was it?" Dan asked, as he pocketed the arc reactor. His face was blank and emotionless, no grin of triumph, no wicked sneer, nothing. He pulled the covers all the way up to Tony's chin.

"Good night, Mr. Stark," Dan said, and closed Tony's eyelids.

Tony heard him open the curtains around the bed and walk away in perfectly unhurried, inconspicuous steps.

He was already starting to feel the intense pain of the shrapnel pressing against his heart. How long had he lasted the last time? Ten minutes? Fifteen? This time, the shrapnel was even closer, and he wouldn't have as long.

The only question was, which would kill him first, the shrapnel or the paralysis. His chest was barely rising anymore. Even though he was starting to feel lightheaded from the lack of oxygen, there was nothing he could do to get more air.

His body was shutting down around him, and he was perfectly conscious and able to feel it all.

God, the pain!

This had to be a nightmare.

  


* * *

  


Happy was tired.

Maybe he should've called in someone else from Tony's security team. There had been no need for him to be the one doing the night shift, but he had chosen to do it anyway. He hadn't been able to sleep a whole lot last night, so he had taken a long nap during the day, and he had figured he could just as well stay here overnight and make himself useful.

The night was as uneventful as they ever were. Rhodey and Tony talked for some time before falling silent and going to sleep. After that, nothing happened, until at around ten to one, when a male nurse showed up. Happy nodded and grunted a greeting to him, and he smiled in return.

The nurse stayed in the room for about five minutes. Happy heard him have short conversation with Tony. The few words he could make out sounded like the typical small talk.

"Everything all right in there?" Happy asked the nurse once he left the room.

"Yes, everything's just fine," he answered, and walked away.

It struck Happy as slightly strange that the nurse didn't visit any of the other rooms, but walked straight to the end of the corridor and around the corner, out of sight.

Happy stood up and entered Rhodey and Tony's room. Everything looked perfectly normal, both men were sound asleep. Still, Happy had a hunch, a nagging feeling, that something wasn't the way it was supposed to be.

He could hear Rhodey snoring peacefully, and the nurse had only talked to Tony. He walked over to Tony's bed.

At a quick glance, Tony seemed to be sleeping, too, but he was awfully silent - Happy had heard the racket he could make when he had passed out, drunk. He turned on the light and looked more closely. 

Tony's lips were bluish, and he was barely breathing. Happy pressed the call button instantly, several times, and shouted for help, just to be sure. He heard Rhodey shift in the next bed, and mumble a sleepy "What's going on?"

That was a really good question - what the hell had happened here? Had the nurse poisoned Tony? He looked at the heart monitor screen. Not that he could understand half of the stuff, but he could see that the pulse rate was absurdly fast.

Happy looked at Tony again, and felt a sneaking suspicion that sent a chill down his spine. He lifted the covers. Tony's upper body was bare - and the arc reactor was gone.

"Someone took the arc reactor," Happy answered Rhodey.

He had already wasted too much time. There wasn't much the doctors could do if Tony didn't get the device back. He dashed out of the room, almost running into the nurse who had come to see what the problem was, and around the corner, where the suspicious male nurse had gone. It lead to a long corridor, and Happy could just see a glimpse of a scrub-clad figure disappearing through the glass doors at the far end.

He ran as fast as he could, and was able to keep the nurse in sight. Happy was actually gaining in on him, since he was just walking at a casual pace. Unfortunately, once Happy got too close, the nurse noticed him, and started running as well. That left no room for guessing, he really was the bad guy here.

The villain started taking odd turns on his way through the winding corridors and stairways of the hospital, obviously trying to trick Happy, but Happy was no stranger to games like this, and stayed on the trail. Without taking his eyes off his target, he got out his cell phone, and called Pepper. She had gone home to sleep, but he knew she would want to be here.

She answered him with a tired "Yes, Happy, what is it?"

"Someone's tried to kill Tony," Happy said plainly. "I'm following them right now."

"Kill him? Oh God, what happened? Is he all right?"

Happy really hadn't got time for a longer conversation, so he simply said, "I don't know. You better get over here," and hung up. He put away his phone, and pulled out his pistol.

He had been trying to maintain some sort of a general sense of where they were, and he was convinced that the last stairs they had descended had brought them to the ground floor. The villain opened a door to the left, and disappeared from view.

When Happy reached the door, he saw that the corridor it lead to was empty, with no sign of where the nurse might have gone - but there was a door to the right with an emergency exit sign. Happy went through it, and found himself nowhere near to the hospital entrance familiar to him, but in a concrete-covered, dimly lit area between several high buildings. There were a few trucks parked there, and dumpsters by the walls.

The villain was clearly headed for a van just some fifty yards away from him. Now that they were outside, and there was no one else anywhere in sight, Happy took aim and fired. His first shot missed, but the second hit his target square in the knee. The bad guy fell to the ground, and before he'd managed to even try to get up again, Happy had reached him and grabbed him in an armlock.

A lot sooner than Happy would've expected, the assassin got his bearings and reacted, using the element of surprise to wrench his way out of Happy's hold, and to reach for the gun. Hand-to-hand combat was what Happy was best at, being an ex-boxer. He dropped the gun, and kicked it away from them. His opponent didn't go for it, but instead, stuck to the close combat. He was experienced, too. Of course, the whole operation had been so smooth that Happy was sure the man had to be a professional.

They were evenly matched, and it seemed the fistfight could go on for a long time. Time was exactly what Happy didn't have. He had already spotted the recognizable shape of the arc reactor in the assassin's pocket, and he concentrated on getting his hands on it. He had to let his guard down to do that, and he took a few pretty bad blows, but he didn't let those slow him down. He was able to plunge his hand into the other man's pocket, and to grab the reactor.

Although Happy wanted nothing more than to capture this crook and to give him his due, that would take time, and there was always the possibility that he'd lose the fight. Tony had already been without the reactor for far too many minutes. With one final punch and a push, Happy separated himself from his opponent, and started running back towards the emergency exit.

He had almost reached the door, when he heard a bang, and a sharp pain tore through his right side. His knees went weak, but he bit his teeth together and was able to stay upright. He couldn't stop, not now. With one hand pressed against his bleeding side, the other clutching the arc reactor, he kept going, no longer running, but at least he was still moving.

He reached the door. He wasn't entirely sure of his location, but a few turns took him to a familiar-looking corridor, and from there, he could find his way to the main entrance.

The lobby was almost empty. Happy made it to the information desk, and set the arc reactor on the counter.

The bored-looking woman behind the desk looked up, and did a double take. "Sir? Sit down and take it easy, I'm calling the trauma team," she said, already reaching for the phone.

"No, no," Happy said quickly, leaning on the desk to stay on his feet. "You've got to get this device to Tony Stark right now, or he's going to die," he motioned at the reactor.

The woman eyed him suspiciously. Right, Happy could see how this might look odd, a man who'd obviously been beaten and shot showing up with some weird gizmo, telling them to take it to Mr. Stark.

"Call his room. They'll vouch for me," he added.

She was still frowning, but she made the call, and in less than a minute, she had given the arc reactor to a hospital worker, who headed towards Tony's room, taking running steps.

Happy let go of the counter and sank to the floor, one hand still pressed over his side, which hurt like hell. His shirt was soaked in blood.

He'd done all he could. He could only hope he'd been fast enough.

  


* * *

  


Rhodey woke up to someone bellowing for help. It sounded like Happy.

"What's going on?" he mumbled.

Normally, he was able to come around, fully alert, at the first sign of trouble, which was an often-needed skill in his line of work. Clearly, having a head injury, and being pumped up with pain meds thanks to that plus two broken legs, made waking up more of a challenge.

He was still rubbing sleep out of his eyes when Happy answered him with "Someone took the arc reactor," and rushed out of the room.

Right after Happy had left, a nurse entered the room. "Someone called for help?" she asked.

"Yeah," Rhodey said, and motioned at Tony's bed. When he turned to look at Tony himself, he saw that just like Happy had said, there was no sign of the trademark glow of the reactor.

The nurse walked over to Tony, took one look at him, called a "code blue" on the intercom, and started giving him mouth-to-mouth. It didn't take long before several more medics hurried into the room with a crash cart, and Rhodey found himself witnessing a scene straight from ER.

"Patient's completely unresponsive. Airway should be OK, but he's not breathing," the first nurse briefed the others. "Pulse at 160, BP 140 over 90."

"We need to intubate," a blond, middle-aged man in a lab coat ordered - he seemed to be taking the charge.

"Going in now," a younger man with long, dark hair in a ponytail answered him, already working on putting a tube down Tony's throat.

"Any idea of the cause?" the first man asked.

"He was admitted for heatstroke 40 hours ago. ARDS?" a nurse said, reading Tony's chart.

"Might be. What's that thing on his chest?"

"Nothing here about it."

Of course, Tony always wanted to give out as little information about the arc reactor as possible, because of the top secret nature of the technology, so he had only explained it to his attending. Since it wasn't on his file, none of these medics would realize how important that metal-lined hole in his chest was.

"Hey," Rhodey shouted, trying to catch their attention. "I think someone tried to murder him. Whatever you do, it might not help. Someone's taken his arc reactor. That device in his chest. If he doesn't get it back, his heart's going to stop."

"We'll do what we can," the nurse told him, and closed the curtains around Tony's bed, blocking Rhodey's view. Of course, that didn't keep him from hearing everything. It wasn't very encouraging to listen to, since things were spiraling downwards just as fast as he could've expected.

"He's not stabilizing."

"I don't think it's ARDS. He was attacked - poisoned, maybe?"

"Let's run a tox screen."

"BP's crashing!"

"Doctor Bright, look at the EKG."

"That makes no sense. What did that other patient say about this one's heart?"

"Something about the device in his chest, I'll go and ask him."

Well, finally, Rhodey thought, as one of the medics, the long haired young man, emerged from behind the curtains and approached him. He didn't wait for the doc to ask anything, because he already knew the question.

"He has shrapnel lodged in his chest, close to his heart, and that device was keeping it in place," Rhodey told him.

The medic's eyes widened a little at that, and he nodded. "That could explain some of his symptoms," he said, and turned around quickly. "It's cardiac tamponade," he shouted at the others, as he disappeared behind the curtains.

"From what? Pericarditis?"

"Bleeding, from penetrating trauma. We need an echo to -"

"What good's an echo going to be with that thing in the middle of his chest?"

Rhodey heard a phone ringing, and one of the medics answered it, but he missed the conversation, because suddenly, there was a hand on his shoulder. He jumped in surprise.

"Sorry. It's just me," Pepper greeted him, sounding tense. He hadn't noticed her enter the room at all, but there she was, standing by his bed.

"What happened?" she asked.

"I have no idea, really," Rhodey shook his head. "Someone took the arc reactor, and Happy went after them. He hasn't returned yet."

She breathed in sharply. "God... Is Tony..."

Rhodey shrugged. "They're doing their best."

Pepper sat down next to his bed, resting her elbows on his mattress and her chin on her folded hands. She was blinking hard, her even normally pale face completely colorless except for the freckles.

"Lost the pulse," someone shouted behind the curtains.

Rhodey felt Pepper's hand clasping his tightly.

"That's PEA. We can't wait, I'm going to do this blind."

After a few moments of charged silence, one of the medics said, "Got a pulse again," and Rhodey could start breathing again.

"Looks like pericardial bleeding, all right. Good call. Neal, alert trauma, we'll be there in five."

A minute or two later, the medics wheeled Tony out of the room. Pepper stood up and literally grabbed the sleeve of one of them.

"Please, can't you give us anything on his condition?" she asked.

The medic - the same young man who had talked to Rhodey earlier - humphed, looking displeased. "So far, all we know for sure is that there's bleeding around his heart, which is keeping it from working like it should. We've drained some of the blood to relieve the pressure, but we're going to have to crack open his chest to see what's going on. I've got to say, it doesn't look good," he explained matter-of-factly, and left the room to follow the rest of the medics.

Pepper ran after them, leaving Rhodey alone.

When the noise from the hallway had just died out, a scrub-clad woman entered the room, looking around, confused.

"I was told to bring this here," she told Rhodey, and showed him the arc reactor.

  


* * *

  


"Yes, Happy, what is it?"

"Someone's tried to kill Tony. I'm following them right now."

"Kill him? Oh God, what happened? Is he all right?"

"I don't know. You better get over here." Click.

Pepper had to stare at her Blackberry for a good long time after Happy had hung up on her, trying to reassure herself that she hadn't just imagined the whole phone call. It had been something straight out of a nightmare - getting a call in the middle of the night about something bad happening to Tony. No matter how hard she stared, the screen still showed that she really had received that call.

She dressed in the first clothes she could find, got in her car and drove to the hospital as fast as she could, speeding almost like Tony always did.

The woman at the information desk told her that the visiting hours were over long ago. Pepper waved her Stark Industries ID at her like a police badge. "I'm Tony Stark's personal assistant, and he needs me right now. You're not going to stop me," she told her firmly, and kept walking.

Apparently, she had been convincing enough, because she was able to make her way through the quiet nighttime hospital to Tony and Rhodey's room without anyone trying to stop her. The room was anything but quiet, with the medical team working frantically around Tony's bed, hidden from sight behind a curtain.

Pepper walked over to Rhodey, and sat with him for a few nerve-racking minutes, listening to the doctors fight for Tony's life. Once they took him out of the room, she followed them. Of course, she couldn't get in the same elevator, but she managed to get the directions for where they were headed.

Finally, she found herself sitting all alone in a waiting room, feeling surreal. Less than half an hour ago, she had been lying in her bed at home, fast asleep. Now, she was staring at a wall in a room almost identical to the one where she'd sat earlier, when they'd brought in Tony and Rhodey after the accident two days ago - it might've even been the same room, she couldn't be sure - only this time, the situation seemed even more dire.

She had thought that after the latest trouble, Tony would be out of danger for at least a few days, but someone had been cruel enough to strike him when he was already down. Pepper had no idea if it was even possible for him to survive without the arc reactor, and she was almost certain he had already spent so much time without it that getting it back wouldn't help anymore.

She really hoped Happy would catch the sick bastard who was behind this. She tried calling Happy, but he didn't answer.

The room wasn't as quiet as the rest of the hospital had been, there were nurses and doctors walking by every now and then, occasionally wheeling patients past her. She didn't really pay much attention to them.

She'd only been sitting there for around fifteen minutes, when a scrub-clad young woman stopped by, asked if she was Pepper Potts, and gave her the arc reactor. Apparently, the doctors hadn't had any use for it. That was all she could tell about Tony. Pepper couldn't stand looking at the device, just muttered a thank you and hid it in her handbag.

She didn't even feel like crying anymore. She had already cried more than once during the previous days, but now, all she could do was stare at the wall in disbelief. Tony had been fine when she'd left the hospital this evening - he had been improving so fast that she'd expected them to let him return home soon. She couldn't believe this was really happening.

She called Happy a few more times, but he still wasn't answering. After several hours of lonely, worried waiting, she was approached by a doctor, a balding man she hadn't met before.

"Evening. You wouldn't happen to be Miss Potts, would you?"

"Yes, I am," she said, standing up, her heart in her throat. "Did he make it?"

"Yes, he's stable. The bullet nicked his liver and he lost a lot of blood, but -"

"What?" she said dumbly, frowning. "His liver? What bullet? I don't understand. He wasn't shot, it was shrapnel."

"I recognize a gunshot wound when I see one, Miss, and that's what Mr. Hogan had in his side."

"Mr. Hogan?" she repeated, understanding even less.

"Yes, Miss. Harold Hogan. I thought you knew him, seeing as he gave us your name. You are Pepper Potts, right?"

Feeling faint, Pepper sat down again. She felt like she needed to pinch herself to make sure she really wasn't still asleep. Happy had been shot? It must've been the same villain who'd tried to murder Tony. Oh, God. Not Happy, too!

"Yes, yes, I am Pepper Potts, I do know him, I just wasn't expecting - I thought you were - I had no idea he was..." she rambled. Putting together a sentence that made any sense felt barely possible. "He's going to be all right?" she finally managed.

"Take it easy, Miss. As I was trying to say, barring complications, he should be fine," the doctor said reassuringly. "Someone will inform you as soon as you can see him."

"All right. Thank you," she said softly. She was shivering all over, although it wasn't even cold.

"Miss, are you all right?" the doctor asked her sympathetically.

No, she wasn't, not when everyone around her was injured or dying, but she wasn't sick, either, so she nodded. 

The doctor left. She sat there in a stupor, no longer paying any attention to the passage of time.

Later on - maybe it was an hour, maybe five - a nurse took her to see Happy.

He was lying in a hospital bed, looking pale and sick, just like Tony and Rhodey had been. He had a huge bruise on his cheek, one of his eyes was swollen shut, and he was dazed because of the pain medication. Still, the first thing he said to her was, "How's the boss? Was I fast enough?"

She knew for a fact that he hadn't been fast enough, since the arc reactor was in her bag, but she couldn't bring herself to say that to him. "I don't know," she said instead. "He's still in surgery."

Much, much later, when bright daylight was filtering into the room through the blinds, a doctor finally showed up to give them the news.

"Mr. Stark is alive, but I'm afraid there were some serious complications."

  


* * *

  


Beep - click - click.

Beep - click - click.

Beep - click - click.

The sounds pervading Tony's slowly waking mind were a combination of familiar and alien.

The first time he actually woke up, he was so convinced that he was still paralyzed and suffocating and dying of the shrapnel sinking into his heart that he just panicked instantly.

He fell asleep almost instantly, too. Drugs could do that to you.

The second time he woke up, he knew he wasn't dying, he wasn't paralyzed, he was breathing on his own, and someone was holding his hand. It had to be Pepper, because it was her voice that kept repeating that it was all right.

He felt much better than before - of course, anything felt better than dying. His chest still felt wrong, both painful and strange.

Cautiously, he opened his eyes. He had never thought he'd be relieved to be able to do that.

His entire upper body was covered in bandages, but something was missing. The glow of the arc reactor would've been visible, had it been there. How the hell was he still alive?

"Tony, just take it easy, you're safe, everything's all right," Pepper was telling him, although there was a strange note in her voice.

Ignoring her, he raised his head to get a better look at his chest.

He saw no less than four blood-colored plastic tubes sticking out of the bandaging below the arc reactor's socket. They lead in pairs into two similarly colored, round devices of some sort lying on his stomach, which were the source of the clicking sounds imitating a heartbeat.

He let his head sink back to the pillows.

This was like waking up in the cave, only it was even worse, if such a thing was possible. The same way the assault had been like Obie's earlier attempt to kill him, and still completely different.

He had to be dreaming, the whole thing must've been a nightmare from the beginning, but he could see and hear and feel it all and it seemed far too real.

He retched, though he couldn't actually get anything out, and realized he was panicking again.

Before he knew it, they had put him under once more.

The third time was the charm, because he already knew what was coming. Pepper was still there, and the scary-as-hell extra plumbing was still on - and most likely in - his chest.

"Hey," he said.

Pepper squeezed his hand a little tighter. "Hey. Welcome back."

"I'm not sure I'm really back," he answered.

She studied him for a while, her face unreadable. "Of course you are. You're alive, you made it, and you're safe now," she recited, sounding like she was trying to reassure herself as well as him.

Tony lifted his hand to touch the tubing in his chest. He was pretty sure the crimson color wasn't just a part of the design. "I'm not sure I'd call this 'alive and safe'. Pepper, I need to know, how bad is it this time?"

"If you feel up to it, I could fetch the doctor, she knows better than I do."

"Go ahead. I'm as ready as I'll ever be," Tony said.

That wasn't entirely true, of course. He felt far from ready. He felt like he'd rather take another tranq shot and go to sleep than hear that he had a week left to live and that he was going to spend it tied to this bed. He also knew that waiting longer wouldn't help at all, so he'd just have to face it. He'd probably need that tranq shot afterwards, anyway.

His new attending was a woman in her early fifties, with graying chestnut hair, lean and even taller than Pepper. An interesting-looking woman, if a bit old, definitely a strong eight.

"Dr. Walton," she introduced herself, and shook his hand. "Glad to see you're feeling better, Mr. Stark."

"Yeah, I'm not dying or having a panic attack right now, I guess you can call that better," Tony answered her sarcastically. "Give it to me straight up. What's happened to me?"

"After that chest device of yours was removed, the shrapnel penetrated your heart. We managed to remove all the shrapnel and repair most of the structural damage, but unfortunately, that wasn't enough. To put it simply, this episode, on top of all the previous trauma you've suffered, left your heart too weak to beat on its own."

"Which means that this Frankensteinian setup is...?"

"A biventricular assist device. BiVAD, for short. Basically, it takes over for your heart. Without it, you'd be dead in a matter of minutes."

"I could've guessed as much."

Like the arc reactor, only far worse, more restrictive and disabling. Useless, except for keeping him alive. This wasn't like Afghanistan. There were no bad guys to fight, no suit to build, and there would be no heroic escape this time. He was completely dependent on outside help. His chest was shrapnel-free, but his heart was in shreds. Talk about irony.

He took a few deep breaths, gathering the willpower to ask the rest of the questions he needed to, as much as he dreaded the answers. "What's the prognosis? Am I permanently stuck on life support? How long have I got?"

"The VAD you're on right now is meant to be temporary, from weeks to months, but there are similar devices designed for permanent use. Those could give you a year, even longer. Of course, you wouldn't be able to return to all your previous activities, and there's a significant risk of complications. Your best hope for a more-or-less complete recovery would be a transplant."

All right, that wasn't quite as bad as he had feared. At least he had options. Or rather, he had an option, because living the rest of his shortened life as an invalid wasn't one he was going to consider. Either he got a new heart, or he'd never wear the armor again, which would mean that he could just as well be dead.

"So, a transplant. How do we go on with that?"

"You can leave the details to me. There are several things that need to be checked before we can get you on the transplant list, and you'll be interviewed by a few people as well. I've got to warn you, though: the number of patients needing a new heart is far greater than the amount of donor hearts available. The waiting time can be long."

That wasn't what he wanted to hear. If his only option was an unlikely one, what was the point of clinging to life like this?

"Do whatever you have to, Doc. I'm just going to panic now," he said, and gave in to the wave of despair and disbelief, which drowned him completely and left him gasping for air.

He could hear the doctor calling "Mr. Stark!" and Pepper shouting "Tony!" and the beeps and clicks all messed up, and hands were grasping his and cupping his face, but soon enough, he felt the already familiar effects of some friendly sedative dragging him back to sleep.

  


* * *

  


Pepper almost wished she could do like Tony, have a life-threatening bout of panic so that someone would have to put her to sleep. But no, as the only one of the four of them still on her feet and at least physically healthy - she would no longer vouch for her mental health - she had no choice but to keep going.

She had dealt with the media, giving out vague news that Tony had suffered a cardiac event of some sort, and was out of action indefinitely. She had dealt with S.H.I.E.L.D. as best she could, which meant that she had delegated the task of dealing with them to Rhodey. She had sat by Tony's bed and talked things through with his doctors. She had barely eaten or slept. Every time she closed her eyes, she'd wake up from nightmares where everyone around her was dying. She hadn't even returned home since the night Tony had been attacked, three days ago. Even though it wasn't a long distance to drive, she had chosen to stay at a nearby hotel instead, just in case.

At least Tony was finally lucid enough to talk. Still, seeing him had been emotionally so draining that she wondered how she'd be able to gather the strength to return to his bedside. Dr. Walton had said that he would sleep for several hours, and she was glad for that.

Her feet carried her to Rhodey and Happy's room - with Tony in the ICU, she'd been able to arrange things so that Happy had taken Tony's place in his previous room.

It was actually soothing to see the two other men after Tony. After all, they were both getting better, and both were probably in a better mood than she was, these days. Out of the two of them, Happy was most likely going to be the first to be discharged. Even though Rhodey's injuries were older, they would take longer to mend.

"How was he?" Rhodey asked cautiously, when Pepper had sat down heavily in the chair between his and Happy's beds.

"Better, in the sense that he wasn't dying or having a panic attack - that's what he said himself," she said, and sighed. "Of course, he did panic when he heard the details about his situation. He's asleep again."

"I guess he's not going to be able to give any details about what happened anytime soon, then," Rhodey said thoughtfully. "I just got a phone call from a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent who asked me about it. They also had news about that explosion at Stark Industries."

"Oh? What kind of news?"

"Tony was right, it was definitely sabotage. They found traces of some really exotic explosive from the wreckage. They're also convinced that this murder attempt and that explosion are related."

"Sure doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out," Happy commented. "What about that Arctic incident?"

"That was a month ago," Pepper said. "And wasn't it due to the weather conditions? Tony was flying in the middle of a blizzard, after all."

"Actually, Happy, you could be right," Rhodey said. "It wasn't all about the weather. He had a faulty thruster, and he was never able to figure out what had went wrong with it."

"So, someone's been trying to off the boss for a month. Is he even safe here?" Happy asked.

"If he's not, then I don't know where he'd be. There are four guards posted at his door, twenty four seven. There's a list of hospital staff who are allowed to see him, and they always need to show their ID. No one else gets in," Pepper listed. "If you can think of any ways to make the arrangements better, let me know, and I'll see that it's done."

"I'll think about it," Happy said. "Does S.H.I.E.L.D. have any leads on that son-of-a-bitch who did this?"

Rhodey shook his head. "I'm afraid not. They've checked all the security camera data, and they have clear pictures of the man, but they haven't been able to identify him. That's really weird, because they should know every single person in this country."

"If Tony could tell something..." Pepper suggested.

"It might help. You could ask him the next time he's awake?"

"I'm not sure that's a good idea."

The truth be told, she was sure it was a bad idea, but she wanted that sick bastard caught and punished for what he'd done to all of them, so the next time Tony was awake, and she was there with him, she tried to ask him about the assassination attempt.

All he managed to tell her was that the attacker had been a man about his age who had introduced himself as Dan. As soon as he tried to go into detail about what had happened, he started getting so agitated that she had to grab his shoulders and yell at him to stop thinking about it. At least they didn't need to sedate him this time.

She kept him company until late in the evening, and he seemed to be doing better. She offered him the arc reactor back. He didn't get worked up about it, just shook his head and told her to keep it. 

Things only went wrong when she decided to leave for her hotel room. She said "Good night, Mr. Stark," and all of a sudden, he grabbed her hand in a vice-like grip, gasping, his eyes wide, asking her to swear she'd never, ever say that to him again.

Nevertheless, when he had calmed down and she finally did leave, she walked to the hotel feeling cautiously hopeful. Maybe he would be back to his old impossible self, sooner or later. She was actually able to catch a few hours of sleep that night.

Over the next few days, Dr. Walton set the transplant process in motion, and Pepper could see Tony growing more hopeful, too. She was amazed at how placidly he took the battery of tests they needed him to go through as a part of the process. Then again, she knew how hard it was for him to be this dependent on others. The idea that he could be back to normal someday seemed to make his life worth living again. There were no more panic attacks, and he even cracked a few jokes about the admittedly grotesque-looking life support system he was on.

Six days after the murder attempt, Pepper was sitting in the cafeteria with Happy, who was still in the hospital, but already on his feet, when Dr. Walton called her, and said that they needed to talk immediately.

"Bad news, I'm afraid," the doctor began straightforwardly, as soon as Pepper had entered Tony's room. "There's no way to sugarcoat it: the transplant committee has decided not to list Mr. Stark as a candidate for a heart transplant."

"What? Why?" Pepper said, dumbfounded.

Tony was just staring at the doctor, a look of utter disbelief on his face.

"A history of substance abuse, a way of life that's unsuitable for a transplant recipient and is unlikely to change, and a clearly unstable psychological profile."

"That's ridiculous!" Tony spoke up. "Substance abuse? They only give hearts to teetotalers?"

"Mr. Stark, there's a difference between a drink every now and then, and drinking that's heavy enough to show up in liver function tests. You may not accept the fact yourself, but you're borderline alcoholic."

Tony didn't seem to be listening to her at all, although he was staring at her with a look that Pepper could only describe as murderous. "An unsuitable way of life and an unstable psychological profile... Bullshit!"

"Mr. Stark, you've got to understand, the way they see this, the risk that you'll end up getting yourself killed or seriously injured again is too high. Looking at your medical history, that's not an unreasonable concern. They simply can't afford to give you a heart, when there are so many others who need one, and are far more likely to live long, happy lives."

"But... But that's..." Pepper stuttered. "How can they do this? This is Tony Stark we're talking about, for God's sake! Iron Man!"

Dr. Walton shook her head. "Being a celebrity doesn't earn him extra points. Neither does money."

"You never even mentioned that this could happen," Tony said, the anger on his face slowly giving way to despair.

"I never said it was certain that you'd get listed. I expected you to understand that the tests and interviews could reveal something that would disqualify you."

"You should've just let me die."

"Please, Mr. Stark," Dr. Walton said quickly. "This isn't a death sentence. There are other options -"

"Which might give me an extra year as a cripple? I don't care. I don't want to live like this."

"Tony, you should listen to the doctor," Pepper tried.

"You know, Mr. Stark, most other people who are on a VAD are immensely glad to be alive. For someone saved from certain death, you sure seem ungrateful," Dr. Walton said. She was starting to sound angry as well, her professional manners cracking for the first time since Pepper had met her.

"I should've died in Afghanistan a year ago," Tony said, his voice flat. "I've been living on borrowed time ever since - and now I'm not even living anymore."

Tony was breathing hard, and Pepper half expected him to start panicking once again, but instead, he just shook his head in a resigned manner, lay back on the pillows and closed his eyes.

"Just leave me alone. Both of you," he said.

  


* * *

  


Rhodey was still pretty much stuck in bed rest - with two broken legs, one of them in a cast that ran from his toes to thigh, even sitting in a wheelchair wasn't a comfortable experience. Still, he couldn't claim he was entirely on sick leave, since he spent most of his time trying to figure out everything that had happened.

After the promising beginning of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s investigations, they had quickly hit the wall. Rhodey had relayed them the little information Pepper had got from Tony, but that hadn't helped at all. Obviously, "Dan" hadn't been the assassin's real name, and they'd already known it from the security camera videos that he had been in his late thirties or early forties.

They had been able to find out that the poison "Dan" had used had been pancuronium, a paralyzing agent used in lethal injections and as a muscle relaxant in hospitals. Not the easiest drug to get one's hands on, but not exactly rare, either. It did explain why Tony was so traumatized by what had happened. Not only had it been a parallel to Stane's earlier murder attempt, it must have also been a horrible experience to be perfectly aware of everything that was going on, dying, and totally unable to communicate. Rhodey had discussed this with the doctors, and they had said that it was possible Tony had even been conscious through some of the resuscitation effort. No wonder he panicked when he tried to talk about it.

Rhodey had also put some thought to the matter that it was weird this "Dan" had known about the arc reactor at all, let alone been able to detach it so quickly - he had only been in the room for five minutes. There weren't many people who would know enough about it to do that. And had the assassin simply wanted to take the reactor to kill Tony, or was there industrial espionage mixed into this mess as well? The attack on Stark Industries a week back pointed to the latter.

Rhodey was trying to jot down a list of all the people who knew or had known about the arc reactor, starting from Tony, himself, Pepper and Obadiah Stane, when Pepper walked in, and practically collapsed into her accustomed chair. Rhodey didn't think he'd seen her look this shocked since the night when Tony had been attacked, which was saying a lot, since she had had the air of someone at the end of her rope ever since that night.

"Pepper? You all right?" Happy asked, sitting up in his bed.

Pepper shook her head, opening her mouth to say something, but closing it again.

Happy had gotten on his feet. He made his way to her side, and placed a hand on her shoulder. "What is it? Something happen to Tony?"

She shook her head again, biting her lip. "No, he's all right - I mean, he's not worse, physically, but I've no idea how he's going to cope with this."

"With what?" Rhodey asked.

"He's not going to get a transplant," Pepper answered. "And God, it was his only hope of ever returning to normal life - he's devastated, said they should've just let him die. He told me to leave him alone, so I left. I've no idea what's going to happen now."

Rhodey hadn't even seen Tony since he'd been attacked. As long as Tony was in the ICU and Rhodey's mobility was seriously limited, it didn't seem like he would, either. He had to rely on whatever news Pepper could bring. Happy did go and visit Tony with her the following day, since he wasn't actively telling people to go away anymore. Apparently, he wasn't saying much of anything else, either.

"I've never seen him like this," Happy said, when he and Pepper had returned to Rhodey. As unflappable as Happy always was, even he looked upset now. "I can barely recognize him."

"He's given up," Pepper sighed. "Dr. Walton thinks this is an understandable reaction to what happened, and that he'll get over it, but I think it should've passed by now. I know Tony, this isn't like him. He still refuses to even talk about any other options he might have. He's just... He's not really there anymore."

"Hardly spoke more than three words in one sentence," Happy added.

"Goddamn it, this is stupid!" Rhodey exclaimed. "He's obviously not dead yet, he needs to snap out of it. I wish I could talk to him."

"Well, maybe you can," Pepper said thoughtfully. "That VAD thing is supposed to be movable, and I don't think he's too sick to get in a wheelchair. He just hasn't wanted to even try going anywhere. Rhodey, I think this could be a really good idea!" Pepper was starting to sound almost eager as she went on. "Actually, I think getting the doctor's OK for a trip to this room is going to be the easy part. Talking Tony into coming might be more difficult."

"If there's anyone who can still talk him into anything, that's you, Pepper," Happy said.

Amazingly enough, the very same evening Pepper pushed Tony's wheelchair into Rhodey and Happy's room. There was a bona fide convoy with him, a nurse and no less than four bodyguards, although two of them stayed outside the room. Pepper brought Tony right next to Rhodey's bed, and sat down at her usual place.

Even though Tony was wearing a robe that covered the life support Rhodey had heard so much about, it was obvious that he was badly off. He looked like he had aged several decades, with sunken cheeks and dark circles under his eyes, but the worst thing was his expression. It was so hollow that Rhodey would never have believed he could even look like that. That had to change.

Rhodey knew he couldn't make Tony cheerful, but maybe he could at least get some sort of a reaction. He had seen Tony go through some of the darkest times of his life - he'd been there when his parents had died. Rhodey was prepared to bet that he could deal with a depressed Tony better than anyone else.

"Tony. It's been a while," Rhodey greeted him.

"Hi, Rhodey," Tony answered mechanically, refusing to look him in the eye.

"So," Rhodey said. "All this shit I've been hearing about you, I can't believe my ears. How can you just 'give up'? The Tony Stark I know would never do that!"

Tony shrugged. "Maybe he's gone."

"Oh, come on! You're not dead! Hell, you've been worse off than this, you've actually been dead for an hour and lived to tell the tale - more than that, to make bad jokes about it!"

"That time, I knew I could recover."

"Who's saying that you can't recover now, except for yourself? Have you even really gone through your options? As long as you're not six feet under, there's always hope. You never let things like this slow you down before!"

"Things like this?" Tony shook his head. "I haven't faced 'things like this' before," he said, and opened his robe enough to show a glimpse of crimson tubing. "I'm stuck with my blood doing extra loops outside my body, how the hell could I not be slowed down by this?"

Rhodey saw Pepper raise her eyebrows at Tony's outburst - clearly, this was something new. Rhodey really was getting somewhere.

"It's not like this is the first time you need technology to survive," Rhodey went on. "You could deal with the arc reactor, you can deal with this. You've beaten impossible odds before, a dozen times. I mean, you're the guy who can grasp at a straw and use that straw to build some gadget that no one's ever even dreamed of!"

Tony's eyes had gone wide, and his cheeks were actually flushed, the color making him look feverish. He ran his fingers through his hair, stopping so that his hand rested on the back of his head. "Rhodey, you're a genius," he said, sounding slightly breathless.

Pepper had walked over to his side, peering at his face. "Tony, are you all right?"

"I'm fine. No, I'm great! I need to talk to Dr. Walton, right now."

  


* * *

  


The transplant committee had disqualified him.

None of this made any sense anymore. He didn't believe in fate, but he did believe that he had survived Afghanistan for a reason. Now, there was no reason. This wasn't a second chance, or a third or a dozenth chance. This was just prolonged suffering.

He should be dead. Why the hell was he still stuck in this godawful in-between? Why wouldn't they just let him die?

Pepper came back to visit him, and then it was night, and day again, and Pepper came to visit him with Happy. He saw them, he heard them talk to him, and he heard himself answer, but none of it meant anything.

Later on, Pepper was there again, this time with Dr. Walton, and a wheelchair.

"Tony, you're going to visit Rhodey now," Pepper said. "Sit up, and help us get you into the chair."

"Not interested."

"That wasn't a question, and this isn't a conversation. Get up."

"I can't."

"There's no medical reason why you couldn't," Dr. Walton said.

"Come on, you haven't been out of this room in a week. Rhodey wants to see you."

"No, he doesn't."

"Tony, please. Just humor us, this once, and we'll leave you alone for good, all right?"

He'd like to be left alone, yes. Maybe he should do this. "Whatever," he said, sat up, and let the two women help him into the wheelchair.

They unplugged the VAD console so they could move him - the console was the control and power unit connected to the actual pumps, a device almost the size of a small fridge. Dr. Walton said that the batteries would last for an hour. He was running on batteries that would only last one hour, when his arc reactor would've worked for a lifetime, but he didn't even feel a thing, no regret, no nostalgia, no annoyance, nothing.

Rhodey was just like the rest of them, trying to tell him that this wasn't the end - what did he know, really? He wasn't stuck where Tony was. What right did he have to talk to Tony like that? For the first time in over a day, Tony actually did feel something. He got angry.

Rhodey kept going on - and all of a sudden, things clicked into place.

All of a sudden, Tony knew what he had to do, once more.

"Rhodey, you're a genius," he said.

"Tony, are you all right?" Pepper asked, staring at him as if he'd gone crazy, when what had happened was actually the exact the opposite. He finally felt sane again. Maybe for the first time since the murder attempt - that was the only way to explain why he hadn't thought about something like this much earlier.

"I'm fine. No, I'm great!" he replied. "I need to talk to Dr. Walton, right now."

Pepper still looked like she wasn't sure whether this was a good or a bad thing, but she took him back to his room, left, and not long after, returned with the doctor.

"All right, where to start..." Tony said thoughtfully, scratching at his beard, and realizing that it was alarmingly long. It had to look horrible. "Tell me, Dr. Walton - hey, I don't even know your first name, do I? What's your first name?"

"I'm sure I've told it to you," Dr. Walton answered, looking both amused and surprised. "It's Laura."

"So, tell me, Laura," Tony started again. "The human heart isn't a very complicated organ, is it?"

Dr. Walton gave a light chuckle. "You're asking the wrong person, really. From a cardiologist's point of view..."

"No, but really. It's basically a mechanical thing, right? A pump. That's why this contraption actually works," he said, motioning at the pair of constantly ticking devices hidden under his robe.

"Well, yes, basically, you could say that," Dr. Walton said, nodding slowly.

"Great, we're agreed on that. Okay. So, tell me more about VADs, then."

"Well, there are several types of ventricular assist devices - basically, an LVAD assists the left side of the heart, an RVAD the right, and a BiVAD supports both sides. That's what you've got. The device you're on at the moment is Next Heart's eVAD system - the e stands for extracorporeal. They have an implantable version, too, which is the option I was planning on telling you about once you were willing to listen."

"Please don't say they call it an iVAD."

"Actually, they do. Anyway, I'm afraid implantable BiVADs haven't been all that successful so far. The long-term survival rates are lower than with LVADs, and the risk of complications is greater. That's why I -"

"Whatever," Tony waved a hand at her. "Doesn't sound promising. What about artificial hearts?"

"Total artificial hearts?" she shook her head. "There are a few models, and several more under development, but they all have their problems. As long as you're a candidate for an implantable VAD, there's no point in even talking about those."

"But if you could have one that'd really work?"

"A TAH that'd be as good as a real heart, with no risk of complications or mechanical failure? Sure, I'd recommend that right away, but so far, that's science fiction. Total artificial hearts are like the Holy Grail of medicine. Countless doctors have spent decades trying to design one that'd be a viable option to a transplant from a human donor."

"Maybe they just haven't been good enough. Have you ever tried to design one?"

"Me?" Dr. Walton was actually laughing now. "Oh, dear, no. I can't say I'd have that much of an engineer in me."

"Too bad. Do you know anyone who has, then? I'm going to need some help on this project."

"This project? Mr. Stark, you can't seriously be thinking..."

"You really have no idea how good he is at what he does, do you?" Pepper put in.

Dr. Walton shook her head. "I can give you a few phone numbers, but honestly, if you ask me, this is pure fantasy."

"I've been living a nightmare for the past week. Fantasy sounds a lot better," Tony said. "Oh, and Pepper, I think I'd like to have my arc reactor back, now, if you don't mind."

  


* * *

  


"Yes?"

"Doctor Santini? This is Tony Stark. I'm going to make you the offer of your lifetime."

"If this is a business proposition, you've called the wrong person."

"No, this isn't about finances, this is all about research and development. I heard you've been working on an artificial heart."

"Yes, the CardioWare CyberCor, but that model's already finished and undergoing clinical trials."

"Any success with those?"

"Out of the seven patients who've received an implant so far, three are still alive after six months."

"Not all that great, then."

"Actually, it isn't bad. Keep in mind that these are very, very sick people we're talking about - the procedure is only allowed as a last resort."

"Believe me, I know all about that. I'm one of those people. That's why I'm offering you the chance to get your name down in medical history as co-designer of the first artificial heart that really works."

"If this is some kind of a joke -"

"This isn't a joke, and there's no catch - well, except that I'm sort of in a hurry, because it'd be really annoying if I'd drop dead before we can finish the project."

"Hold on a second. Projects like this aren't finished in weeks or months, they take years and years of work, not to mention the testing phase, and all the medico-legal paperwork. It's not exactly easy to get approval for clinical trials."

"Yeah, that's why you could call this a catch. We're not going to do all that. I'm the testing phase. I'd do the whole thing all on my own if I could, but let's face it, I'm an engineer. I simply don't know enough. I need someone with experience in this sort of devices. You can name your pay, I'll triple it. We'll have all Stark Industries' resources at hand for this, and I'm sure we can negotiate a deal of some sort with the company you work for. Are you in?"

"Well, Mister Stark, this is really sudden, and it's kind of late, maybe I could call you back tomorrow?"

"Come on, you're never going to get another offer like this. Don't tell me you're not intrigued."

"Of course I am, but -"

"Then just say yes. We can work out the details later."

"I... All right, yes. I'm in."

"Great! So, I'll call you again in the morning, and we can start talking about specifications."

There. He had a medical advisor. Yeah.

He'd gone through the list of names Dr. Walton had given him, googled them, and decided that Dr. Santini was his first choice, since the stuff he had done so far looked promising. Not nearly good enough, but something to start from. Most importantly, he had developed a biosynthetic material which promised there'd be no need for anticoagulation or anti-rejection meds. Tony could definitely use that, if he'd be able to get the rights - and he was sure he would.

After the phone call, he started studying, first basic anatomy, then the history of artificial hearts so far, up to the designs currently in existence, all the time making mental notes about what seemed like a good idea and what didn't, and what he was going to do differently. He would've kept going all through the night, but at around eleven, Pepper cruelly snatched his laptop from him and told him that he needed to sleep.

"I'll give this back to you in the morning," she said, and walked away with it.

He was annoyed, of course, but she did have a point. He tried to keep on working, drawing rough sketches on a piece of paper, but he fell asleep in the middle of it. It was the first time since the assault that he slept a good night's sleep without any sedatives in his system.

The first thing in the morning, Tony called Dr. Santini. He probably woke him up by doing that, but he wanted to get things in motion as fast as possible. He ran his preliminary specifications by the doctor, both because he was eager to hear comments, and because he wanted to give Dr. Santini an idea of what he had in mind. The doctor tried to shoot down every item on Tony's list, but Tony had already thought them through.

"One: needs to work indefinitely. Two: needs to have a power source that won't run out."

"But that's simply not possible -"

"Actually, I've already got one of those. It also sort-of covers three: needs to be fully implantable, no external parts. Four: needs to be silent."

"I really wouldn't see that as a very important point -"

"I'm tired of sounding like the crocodile from Peter Pan. Besides, it shouldn't be too difficult to accomplish. It's an engineering issue. I'll handle it. Five: needs to automatically adapt to changing circumstances. Your previous design comes with a fixed heart rate, right?"

"Not exactly. There's an external control unit that can be used to adjust it."

"Try imagining me in the middle of a battle and you can see why that simply won't do. We've been doing a lot of work on biosensors at Stark Industries, so I think we can handle this, too."

All in all, Dr. Santini started out cynical, but by the end of their conversation, Tony thought he was beginning to sound genuinely excited. Excited enough that he was willing to clear his busy schedule as much as he could to work on Tony's project.

Tony was pretty excited, himself. The technical details were the interesting and fun part, especially since this was a brand new project with challenges unlike anything he'd faced before. Unfortunately, there were other parts, too. Normally, Tony wanted to build everything himself, but here, he had to admit it simply wasn't possible. Since Stark Industries didn't have the facilities for manufacturing this sort of medical technology, he ended up calling CardioWare's CEO and a bunch of board members, and spending a consequential amount of money, to get their full cooperation.

By the end of the day, he had made most of the practical arrangements, and Pepper had gotten plane tickets and a hotel reservation for Dr. Santini, so that they could really get to work. The doctor would have to spend his time shuttling between LA and Phoenix, where he usually worked, but he seemed all right with that.

If Tony had been a difficult patient before, over the following days he became an impossible one. His room's floor was soon littered with sketches and notes, and he had a better computer setup brought in, because his laptop wasn't good enough. He hated being interrupted when he was working on a project, so he wasn't exactly kind to the nurses, who were just doing their jobs. Not to mention that he nearly gave a heart attack to the poor girl who entered the room when he was poking at the insides of the VAD console, just because he was interested to see how it worked. She didn't seem entirely convinced when he told her he wasn't stupid enough to press the off-button.

Dr. Walton wasn't too happy, either - she was glad to see that Tony was doing better, but she expressed her worry about the mad pace he was working at. Sure, there were times when Tony felt dizzy and weak, but he refused to let that slow him down. He knew he only had a limited amount of time left. Luckily, Dr. Walton listened to Dr. Santini when he told her that he was with Tony at least half the time, and would keep an eye on him.

It quickly turned out that picking Dr. Santini as a medical advisor had been a great choice. He wasn't Yinsen, of course, but he was very good at what he did, and so pedantic that there was no way he'd accept anything that didn't seem absolutely foolproof. He was also willing to work almost around the clock, and Tony was pretty sure it wasn't because of the money, but because he was genuinely interested. On the downside, he did pretty much completely lack a sense of humor.

After two weeks of design work, simulations and actual tests run at Stark Industries and Cardioware, they had blueprints for what Dr. Santini insisted on calling the Stark-Santini Total Artificial Heart, instead of any of the more creative suggestions Tony had come up with. Dr. Walton still claimed that this was insane, and what Tony was most likely to achieve was a very showy and expensive assisted suicide, but even she had to admit that as far as she could tell, the design looked flawless, and was light years ahead of any artificial heart she had ever seen.

Tony wasn't the least bit worried about the design, himself. He knew it was good. He had done most of it, after all. What he was worried about was the assembly, because it took place at CardioWare's facilities in Phoenix, and he couldn't be there to oversee it. He had to rely on a video connection. At least Dr. Santini went over there to supervise the process, which was better than nothing.

As he waited for the completion of the assembly, Tony found himself with lots of spare time on his hands. Not that he had any trouble coming up with things to do. He did arrangements for the surgery - it took a lot of negotiating, because the project was unlike anything anyone had ever done, not to mention that the lack of official approval put it in a morally gray area. He also spent time catching up on everything he had missed, from Stark Industries finances to PR to talking with Rhodey about the investigations concerning the assault, even though he still had nightmares about it every single night, and the subject made him feel very uncomfortable.

After another week had passed, Dr. Santini returned with the finished result of their endeavor. Tony stared at the device, turning it around in his hands. Set within a transparent, sterile casing, it was an odd-looking thing: slightly bigger than his fist, shaped like an extremely irregular sphere, and made of a matte white material that looked like plastic. Breaking the smooth surface were the port for the wire from the arc reactor, and the holes where his veins and arteries would connect to the device.

Now that he was concretely faced with it, the idea was disturbing. Even though he had lived with the arc reactor for a year, and currently had the four VAD cannulas sewn into his chest, this was something completely different. Those were just add-ons, this would be a total replacement. He might've made a joke or two about the arc reactor being his heart, but that had been metaphorical. This was literal. He was actually holding his heart in his hands.

Both his friends and his doctors asked him to reconsider. He had been on the VAD for around a month, he could go on a bit longer. He could take more time to have the artificial heart tested more thoroughly. He shook his head. Either this worked, or he was done, it was as simple as that.

The night before the surgery, he lay in his bed, listening to the beeps and clicks for the last time, his hands resting on his chest, over his feeble, old heart. Unlike he would've expected, he didn't feel scared. Instead, the thought of what was to come was relieving. If something went wrong, he would die on the operating table without ever waking up. He'd asked the doctors to take every precaution that he'd stay deeply unconscious - he was sure that after the murder attempt, an anesthesia awareness experience would leave him a nutcase for good. If he wouldn't make it, it might not exactly be a heroic death, but at least no one could blame him for not trying hard enough. He wasn't afraid of dying. The truth was, it was the other option that made him slightly nervous.

  


* * *

  


Rhodey didn't think Tony had been on an engineering frenzy like this since the time when he had started working on the Iron Man armor. At first, Rhodey wondered if accidentally giving him such an idea had been a bad thing to do - after all, he wasn't exactly the picture of health, and the project wasn't the most realistic one he'd ever tackled. Then again, like Happy pointed out, at least Tony wasn't miserable anymore. He was actually excited. He even became physically more active, and came to visit them in his wheelchair several times.

Two weeks after Tony's eureka-moment, when Happy had been discharged, and Rhodey was working on an excruciating physical therapy program so that he might gain at least some mobility, Tony actually walked into Rhodey's room, hauling the VAD console along. Of course, he had a team of bodyguards following him, but he didn't pay them any attention.

"Bigger than a car battery, but at least it's got wheels," Tony commented. "How's it going?"

"Not bad, though I'll probably break both my legs again before I actually manage to walk. How's the project coming along?"

"Done, and out of my hands."

"What? It's finished?" Two weeks - that was a ridiculously short time for something like this.

"Well, not entirely finished, I obviously don't have the device yet. That's going to take at least another week. In the meantime, I'm trying to make myself useful. Tell me about the investigations."

"Huh? Well, all right. I haven't heard from S.H.I.E.L.D. in a few days now, I've been concentrating on getting better, for a change. I think Happy and Pepper were going to meet with them today."

"Not Pepper, she's at Stark Industries, arranging the manufacturing of my new arc reactor socket."

"Okay. Anyway, the last I heard, they've - wait a moment, you don't even know about the leak, do you?"

"I don't think so. What leak?"

Rhodey studied Tony for a while before answering. As far as he knew, Tony hadn't had a full-blown panic attack in weeks, but he still hadn't really talked about the assault with anyone. Rhodey would hate to have him freak out and take a turn for the worse now, when things were going well.

"The information leak. The reason that guy who attacked you knew about the arc reactor," Rhodey said cautiously. Tony looked a little tense, but nothing worse than that. "After a lot of detective work, we found out that there was this nurse who worked on you after the incident in the Arctic. We had to give them the basic details about the arc reactor - they were bringing you back from a full arrest, after all. They all signed confidentiality papers, of course, but this one nurse went missing afterwards. The last time I heard from S.H.I.E.L.D., they were on her trail."

"Her trail. So, it's not..." Tony began, obviously a bit uneasy with the subject. "It was a guy who... Who did this to me. So, we're not talking about him?"

"No, he's still an unknown, I'm afraid. All we know is that he was most likely a professional, and a skilled one, too, with friends in high places. No ID on him in any databases, worldwide."

"If he was in disguise..."

"That's possible. Happy fought him, though, and is pretty sure that he wasn't. Anyway, if they catch that nurse who went missing from Fairbanks, they can find out who she sold the information to."

Tony nodded. "Great. Keep me informed."

"Of course I will."

He got a call from S.H.I.E.L.D. a few days later. They had found her. Unfortunately, that had left them with another mystery to solve - she had been approached by a person under a false name, and finding out who he really was and who he worked for would take more time. Before they got there, Tony appeared in Rhodey's room, a look of frantic excitement on his face.

"It's finished. The surgery is scheduled for the day after tomorrow."

"Whoa, Tony, aren't you rushing this a little?"

"I'll rather die trying than put this off and wait and die of device malfunction, an infection or a clot."

The following day, they had another similar conversation, with both Pepper and Happy joining Rhodey in trying to convince Tony not to hurry this needlessly.

"Tony," Pepper began, sitting on his bed, her hand touching the side of his arm. "You've talked this through with Doctor Walton, right? She thinks you need more time, more research -"

"She's just afraid I'll put her out of a job. Doctor Santini's got no problem with this."

"But we don't even know him all that well! I'm certain that Doctor Walton thinks about what's best for you, above all else. Do you even know Doctor Santini's real motivations? Maybe you're just a test subject to him, maybe he's eager to get this done because he's curious and doesn't care about you - have you even considered that?"

"Pepper, that's preposterous. I've worked with him for weeks, I know him well enough to tell that he's not some modern-day Mengele. Besides, Doctor Walton knows him. I wouldn't have contacted him if she hadn't given me his number. If you trust her, you can trust him as well."

"Still, Pepper's right, boss," Happy accompanied her. "We're not talking about putting a band-aid on a paper cut here. You should think this through, think real hard."

"Why's everyone being so negative? I've come this far, I'm not going to turn back now. Trust me. I know what I'm doing. See you later."

Those were the last words they heard him say before the operation.

Fourteen hours later, Rhodey found himself in an observation room with Pepper, Happy, and Dr. Walton. He could guess half the hospital staff would've given a week's pay to be able to witness this, but the security risks were too great. This wasn't a public event.

They had kept as low a profile as possible. They hadn't given any kind of a press release, even though reporters had noticed the cooperation between Stark Industries and CardioWare, made the connection to Tony's heart problems, and started asking questions. There were armed guards outside the operating room, and every person working on the procedure had gone through a meticulous background check. The operation itself was dangerous enough, they couldn't risk any outside interference.

Rhodey had seen enough blood and guts and battlefield medicine before that he was all right with observing the operation. The unhurried, calculated precision and perfect cooperation of the surgical team were a marvel to watch, and a mind-boggling contrast to the brutal nature of the procedure.

As he watched Dr. Santini make the first incision across Tony's already scarred chest and remove the arc reactor housing, Rhodey wondered if he'd have the courage to do something like this himself, were he in a similar situation. He didn't think he would. The thought of replacing one of his vital organs with a purely technological creation was unimaginable.

Rhodey knew Tony was desperate, but unlike he had claimed himself, he might've had other options. His heart had been weak, but not entirely useless. Besides, he'd been ruled out from the transplant list because of things he might've been able to change. Maybe he could've switched to an implantable VAD and taken up rehab, proven the transplant committee that he'd be able to lead a different kind of life. This procedure was unnecessarily extreme, but that was the way Tony had always been. He'd always pick a high-risk solution with instant payoff before a slow, low-risk one.

The surgeons were working on the VAD tubing now, switching Tony to cardiopulmonary bypass. Rhodey couldn't make out the details from this far, but he knew that if he could, he would see the last, faint contractions of Tony's original, biological heart. Then, there was nothing but a straight line on the heart monitor screen. Unlike in any other hospital setting, it wasn't the end. If all went well, it would be a new beginning.

  


* * *

  


Pepper couldn't understand how Rhodey could actually watch the operation. Simply being in the room and knowing what was going on behind that glass were more than enough for her. She kept her eyes on the pale green wall, constantly repeating to herself that this was what Tony had wanted. Happy seemed to be feeling the same way, because he stood away from the window as well, only taking a look every now and then. 

There was a point when even Rhodey turned away from the window, looking slightly queasy, and only Dr. Walton kept her eyes on what was going on. Pepper could guess what that had to mean, even though she didn't even want to think about it. They had cut out Tony's heart.

Six hours after the doctors had made the first incision, Pepper heard Dr. Santini announce that all the sutures were in place, and that he was going to connect the power source to the artificial heart. 

Pepper decided to chance taking a look. What she saw was just like she had imagined. She couldn't even recognize Tony, with the green fabric covering most of him, and all the people blocking the view. All she could make out was a square of pale skin with a large blood-red hole in the middle of it, kept open by gruesome-looking surgical tools. Within the cut, she could see a glimmer of white. There was a wire snaking up from it to the arc reactor, which Dr. Santini was holding.

At the moment, everyone was standing perfectly still, staring at a blank monitor. Pepper got the impression that they were all holding their breaths. The screen lit up with numbers and graphs, none of which said anything to Pepper, especially when they were so far she couldn't even see them properly. Apparently, it was what everyone had been waiting for - suddenly, the silence was broken by a wave of enthusiastic muttering.

"Readings look promising," Dr. Santini said modestly. "If everything else seems in order as well, it's time to start weaning him from bypass. Doctor Glenn, you take up from here."

"Does this mean that it works?" Happy asked.

"Not exactly. We'll only know for sure once all external support is removed," Dr. Walton answered, and turned around to face Pepper, Happy and Rhodey, a grave look on her face. "And I've got remind you of something. I'm not sure if you understand this, but even if the surgery goes perfectly, that's no guarantee he's never going to have any problems again. That artificial heart is a very complex thing that's hastily put together and hasn't been tested properly. There's no telling whether it'll give him days or weeks, let alone years, like he seemed to expect himself. Even if nothing goes wrong today or tomorrow, he'll be living under a constant risk of device failure."

"Begging your pardon, ma'am," Happy said, "But I don't see how that makes him different from anyone else. Any of us could just have a heart attack and drop dead all of a sudden, right?"

Dr. Walton shook her head, looking at Happy like a teacher at a child who was being really slow. "No, that's completely different."

Pepper decided to ignore the doctor and do her best to stick to Happy's point of view, because it sounded about right, and made her feel better than the idea that Tony would be living with a time bomb inside his chest.

Finally, over eight hours after they had begun, the surgeons were finished with their work. They set the new arc reactor socket in its place, and stitched together the torn flesh around it. Tony was taken out of the room. As far as Pepper could see, everything had gone exactly as planned. No trouble, no complications, no device failure.

Dr. Walton left, but Pepper, Happy and Rhodey still lingered in the observation room, waiting for more news. Dr. Santini soon joined their company. He looked tired, but triumphant.

"I'll be damned," he said. "Even though I helped design that thing, I can still barely believe this. This must've been the craziest case of my entire career."

"I'm glad you took it anyway," Pepper said, and shook his hand. "Thank you, Doctor Santini."

"Don't thank me, thank Mister Stark. He did most of the work, I was just the midwife here."

"When can we do that, then?" Rhodey asked. "I mean, can we see him?"

"I don't know, that's up to the people who are looking after him now."

Which meant that they were in for even more waiting. It took over an hour before Dr. Walton showed up again, and was able to answer Rhodey's question.

"Not today, I'm afraid. There were some complications. Don't worry, it's not related to the implant. He's suffering from some pulmonary dysfunction - the sustained bypass injured his lungs. It's not uncommon after this sort of surgery, and it should heal completely, but we're going to keep him sedated and intubated at least until the morning. If all goes well, you can congratulate him tomorrow."

That didn't exactly make Pepper feel reassured, but she was left with no choice but to go home and try to catch some sleep.

It wasn't until after midday, the following day, that they actually got to see Tony. She was expecting him to be pretty sick. Sure, he looked like death warmed over, had a nasal cannula for oxygen, and there was still one tube sticking out of his chest, but he flashed them his widest "Tony Stark, owner of the world" grin, something she hadn't seen from him in - she couldn't even tell how long. Maybe not after the accident in the Arctic, two months ago.

"Hey, I missed you guys," Tony said cheerfully. "Or maybe I just missed anyone who wouldn't gape at me like I'm the local freak show, can't be entirely sure. Pepper, you're staring. Stop that."

She tried to, but it was difficult. The idea that he'd actually made it this far was incredible, and he looked so normal. The only visible sign of the change he'd gone through was that he no longer had a heart monitor. Instead, he had a wire going from the arc reactor to a screen with various numbers and abbreviations, out of which "HR/bpm" was the only one she could actually recognize. Still, no matter what he looked like, Pepper couldn't forget Dr. Walton's words in the observation room, that there was no telling how much time he had bought himself, and that made her uneasy.

"So, um, how do you feel?" Rhodey asked, sounding as wary as Pepper felt.

"Like a new man. Rhodey, you're staring at me, too. You know, I overheard the nurses talking that there's a betting pool on how long my do-it-yourself ticker's going to last. I told them I wanted in, but they wouldn't let me. I guess I can't blame them, I would've bet a hundred grand that I'll make it at least twenty years, unless I get killed doing something heroic but stupid before that."

They were only allowed to stay with Tony for fifteen minutes. After that, Pepper walked out of the room feeling oddly numb. She had thought she'd be glad and relieved like he was, but she wasn't. It was as if she couldn't allow herself to let go of the constant fear and worry.

Several days passed uneventfully, without a sign of trouble or further complications. Tony really was getting better. The third day after the surgery, Dr. Walton had him transferred from the ICU to the ward. Even she had to admit that everything looked promising. For all intents and purposes, Tony's artificial heart seemed better than his biological one had been ever since Afghanistan.

Four days after the surgery, Agent Coulson showed up in person to deliver some important and highly confidential details about S.H.I.E.L.D.'s investigations. Dr. Walton gave her OK, and Pepper took Coulson to see Tony. She had no idea how Tony would handle talking about the incident now, but she felt confident that it wouldn't bother him enough to cause serious trouble.

"Glad to see you're on the mend," Coulson greeted Tony. Neither he nor anyone else from S.H.I.E.L.D. had heard the full story of Tony's miracle recovery. All they knew was that he'd overcome a serious heart condition of some sort, one way or the other.

"Glad to hear you've been making progress," Tony said, and paused to clear his throat. "I know you're not here for the small talk, so what've you got? Names, locations, motives?"

"Only names, so far. We have reason to believe that the man who attacked you was a supervillain known as Spymaster."

Pepper was eyeing Tony anxiously. He looked a little pale, but she couldn't be sure he hadn't been that way ever since they had entered the room. Now that she thought about it, he didn't look quite as energetic as he had yesterday, the last time she'd seen him.

"What's the most alarming detail about this," Coulson went on, "Is that we've got some clues suggesting that he's connected to Roxxon Oil -"

Tony drew a few sharp breaths, an odd, confused expression on his face.

"Mister Stark?" Coulson asked.

Tony didn't answer, just gave a little, stifled-sounding cough. He was starting to look distressed.

"All right, I think that was enough," Pepper told Coulson. He nodded, clearly taken aback, and withdrew from Tony's bedside.

Pepper crouched closer to Tony, taking hold of his shoulders, looking him in the eye. "It's all right," she told him. "Tony, you're safe, I'm right here."

Tony was wheezing in earnest now, but he grasped her arms to push her away. "No, no, no, I'm not panicking," he said, and coughed, forcefully this time, covering his mouth with his fist. To her horror, she could see red stains on his lips when he moved his hand aside. "Okay, maybe I'm panicking a little, but that's just because I can't breathe."

From the corner of her eye, Pepper saw Coulson head out of the room. All her attention was on Tony, who had his palm pressed tightly against his chest. He had been doing so well - this couldn't possibly mean that - she couldn't even bring herself to finish the thought.

"Tony, is your..." she began.

Tony took a quick glance at the bedside monitor and shook his head. "Readings look all right. The heart's fine. This has got to be something else."

He sounded like he really believed that, but how could he be certain? Even if the device itself was working perfectly, there could always be a problem of some sort in the connection between it and his body.

Agent Coulson returned with Dr. Walton and a nurse. They instantly pushed Pepper aside and got to work, and Coulson escorted her out of the room. Looking over her shoulder, the last she saw of the scene was Dr. Walton placing her stethoscope on Tony's chest and complaining that there was no way she could hear breath sounds past all the mechanical noise.

Pepper let Coulson steer her to the cafeteria, where he bought her a cup of tea. Instead of calling Rhodey or Happy like she probably should've, she just stared at her tea, making circles in it with the plastic spoon. She felt far less shocked and surprised than she ought to. It was as if she had been expecting for something like this to happen. Everything had been going too well - she had known it couldn't last. She wondered if she'd ever get her normal emotional range back. She still hadn't cried, not once, ever since the time when Tony and Rhodey had first ended up in the hospital.

"I'm sure this is just a momentary relapse of some sort," Coulson was saying soothingly.

Pepper nodded and sipped at her tea.

"You know, Miss Potts, even though that obviously wasn't psychological, if you think there's any chance that talking to someone would help Mister Stark, you shouldn't hesitate to get help for him."

Pepper just nodded again.

"Or for anyone else who's been involved in this, for that matter. I know the sort of effect serious emotional trauma like this can have on people. It should never be underestimated."

That was a very tactful way of saying that she should seek help, if she felt like she needed it. She found herself smiling at him. "I'll keep that in mind."

"We have people who're trained for confidentially handling cases that are a bit... unusual. I could email you their contact information."

"Thank you, I'd appreciate that." She didn't just say it out of courtesy, but because she thought talking to someone might be a very good idea.

An hour or so later, they met Dr. Walton outside Tony's room. Pepper couldn't read anything from her expression, no matter how hard she tried.

"So..." Pepper said, instead of an actual question.

"He was right all along," Dr. Walton answered. "I was completely expecting this to be something to do with the -" She glanced at Coulson, and quickly corrected herself. "With his heart, but doesn't look like it is."

"What is it, then? Is he going to be all right?"

"We're waiting for the lab results to confirm it, but it seems Mister Stark has pneumonia. It's most likely related to the surgery. We've started him on antibiotics, and he's on extra oxygen to help with his breathing. Since he was relatively healthy before this, I'm optimistic about his recovery."

Pepper let out a long, shuddering sigh. It had been a false alarm, after all. Not that she was happy to hear that he was sick, but at least it was something treatable, nothing alien or instantly lethal. And at least, for a change, it wasn't about his heart.

  


* * *

  


Tony spent the first days after the surgery in a haze that was the exact opposite of the depression he'd felt after he'd been ruled out from the transplant list. He was so giddy the procedure had worked that he was practically deaf to any negative comments. Let them bet on how long he was going to live, he didn't care. He was alive, and he was on his own again, free of external life support. Tony Stark 1 - the universe 0. Or maybe it was 2-0 by now, or 3-0, or more - he wasn't entirely sure what to count. Afghanistan, definitely, and probably the Arctic, because he'd actually been clinically dead then. Maybe a couple of other incidents. Most likely there were more to come, but right now, he didn't mind that, either. The universe could keep on setting impossible obstacles in his way, he'd just build his way right over or around or through them. Take that, you bitch.

His cheerfulness wavered slightly when he came down with pneumonia. It was hard not to feel a bit dispirited when one couldn't breathe properly. Still, even though Dr. Walton was kind enough to remind him that it was a serious illness that could slow down his healing considerably, Tony decided that compared to everything else he'd gone through, it was just a nuisance.

She said that he had been lucky, because the strain he'd caught was one that responded well to antibiotics. He was convinced he just pushed through it by sheer willpower.

Two weeks after the operation, over a month and a half since Tony had first ended up in the hospital, Dr. Walton admitted that there was no reason for him to stay there any longer. She was still looking at him as if he were some fragile, extremely exotic creature in the zoo, but at least she no longer treated him like he was going to drop dead at random.

He dressed in the casual clothes Pepper had brought for him, and walked out of his hospital room without looking back once. He was done with this place.

Pepper was waiting for him right outside the room, together with the standard four bodyguards. For some odd reason, she had tears running down her face.

"Pepper, you do realize that crying whenever I survive something horrible against all odds is sending me some seriously weird signals, right?"

She only answered him with a chuckle between sobs, and gave him a quick hug.

At least she was smart enough not to even suggest putting him in a wheelchair. There was nothing wrong with his legs, thank you very much. There was nothing wrong with him, in general, except for the not-quite-healed wounds the surgery had left. Of course, he was still weak - just walking through the hospital to the lobby took more out of him than he was willing to let on - but he'd be damned if he let that bother him now.

In the lobby, he met Happy and Rhodey, the former pushing the latter's wheelchair. Of course, Rhodey had already been discharged, but he was still working on his walking. Dr. Walton was there, too, and several of Tony's regular nurses. To his surprise, Dr. Santini stood next to them. He had returned to Arizona soon after the surgery, and though he'd called several times, curious to hear how the TAH was holding up, Tony hadn't actually seen him since.

"I can't say I'm going to miss you," Dr. Walton told Tony, grinning. "I hope I'm not going to see you here again any time in the near future. Not counting your follow-up appointments, of course."

"I'm not going to miss this place, but I might miss you, just a little," Tony said, winked at her, and shook her hand. "I guess I never really thanked you for saving my life in the first place? Thanks for everything, Laura."

He shook Dr. Santini's hand next, smiled at him, and asked, "What are you doing here, anyway?"

"I took the day off. I just had to see this with my own eyes. Here you are, looking just like the next man - I'd never believe the truth if I hadn't been there myself," he said. "I hope this isn't the last the medical technology field hears from you. It'd be a criminal waste if that device remained the only one of its kind."

"Don't worry about that, doc, you're not getting rid of me this easily. I'll keep in touch," Tony said. "And thanks for all your help."

He walked across the lobby and out of the building with the small crowd. He was amazed there were no media people around. Pepper and the PR and security teams had clearly done a good job.

The Phantom was parked right at the front door. Happy helped Rhodey to the front passenger seat, and Tony sat in the back, next to Pepper.

"Happy, take us home," Tony declared.

"With pleasure, boss," Happy said, and Tony was sure he could see the corners of his mouth turn into something that looked a lot like a smile.

Pepper, on the other hand, was still crying.

Late that night, Tony lay in his bed, listening to the deep, complete silence, staring at the familiar ceiling of his bedroom, which he hadn't seen in over a month. After all he'd been through, was he even the same person he'd been back then?

Just thinking about the murder attempt sent enough adrenaline into his system that he felt his heart pick up speed. It was a strange sensation, smooth, barely noticeable. His new heart would never skip or leap. He rested a hand on his chest, over the still sore surgical incisions. Beneath the slight vibration of the arc reactor, there was a soft thrumming, something that was almost, but not quite like a heartbeat. He wasn't a nostalgic, let alone a romantic, but still, he couldn't help feeling that he had lost something. He could call himself a cyborg now. He was part machine.

Even though he was more dependent on technology than he'd ever been before, he was actually better off than he had been. He'd built an emergency reserve battery into the device. If someone somehow managed to grab the arc reactor again, he'd have an hour to find another power source. If he failed to do that, there would be no sharp pain tearing through his chest, no torment before the end. He'd stop and keel over, dead, just like that.

Sooner or later, Tony would find the guy who had tried to kill him, Spymaster, or whatever his real name was. Before punching the crap out of him, he'd probably have to thank him, and not just for himself. For once, he had built something that could only be used to do good. The first thing tomorrow, he was going make a few phone calls, and Stark Industries would start business negotiations with CardioWare. Of course, he couldn't start handing out arc reactors to people who were dying of heart failure, but he'd figure out another power source. What he'd had to do to survive could save thousands and thousands of lives - maybe more than he'd ever be able to save as Iron Man.

**Author's Note:**

> **End Credits:**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks/blame for this one go to [magicamethyst80 (livejournal)](http://magicamethyst80.livejournal.com), whose [comment](http://veldeia.livejournal.com/15627.html?thread=95499#t95499) originally gave me the idea of writing something like this.
> 
> Other inspiration/sources include:  
> -The Movie (Duh.)  
> -Iron Man vol. 1 #19 (A Doctor called Jose Santini fixes Tony's heart with a synthetic tissue)  
> -IM vol. 3 #30 (Tony gets an artificial heart - although it's not by choice)  
> -IM vol. 3 #66-67 (Both Tony and Happy are in the hospital, and Tony gets attacked by a nurse)  
> -A ridiculous amount of medical websites and articles (for example, [eMedicine](http://emedicine.medscape.com/), [The Merck Manuals](http://www.merck.com/mmpe/index.html), [Texas Heart Institute](http://www.texasheart.org/Research/Devices/index.cfm) and, of course, [Wikipedia](en.wikipedia.org/))  
> -And probably a dozen other issues of Iron Man I just don't realize I've been ripping off, and about every h/c story ever, and every medical show ever ("Sex Kills" from S2 of House comes to mind right away), and so on.


End file.
